Saturday 20 September 2014

Jamie's 100wc - week 3...

“OUCH!” i howled as my brother pinched me, “Connor stop pinching me, we’re on a half finished bridge for crying out loud!” We were alone and it was nearly night. I heard rustling in the bushes just before the bridge, I was freaked now. The blood-curling silence was hair-raising! A black figure strode onto the bridge, “I see you’re alone” said the figure, his voice was low and evil! I sprinted with my brother to the end of the bridge, trying to get away as much as i could. He was coming near, a gun-shot sounded in the distance.
Would we jump?

2 comments:

  1. What great piece of writing Jamie. I like your use of dialogue which makes your writing come alive.

    My favourite sentence is... The blood-curling silence was hair-raising! I can imagine the awful silence just before something ominous is about to happen.

    I really like the way you built up the suspense in your story. Keep writing Jamie.

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